BAM! I Just Nostalgiacized you in the face! Part 1

FYI readers, "Nostalgiacize" is my invention. The patent is pending. So, I suppose you can use it now, but soon, when you say that word you'll have to pay me royalties.

Anyway. Recently my Sirius radio has been cranking out a lot of Gin Blossoms, and it always gets the same reaction out of me. I always think: "Damn... these guys were pretty legit." THEN, I nostalgiacize and remember all of the music that I got into in elementary, middle, and high school, and how it has turned me into the music lover that I am today. So, I thought it'd be cool to make a list of the albums that I consider as having huge impacts on me. Here they are along with any related stories that I have distinct memories of. This will be PART 1 of a multi-part blog entry. And by multi, I mean probably two total.

4th/5th Grade? Ace of Base- The Sign

OBVIOUSLY, this album would be on anybody's list.

I could pretend to be cool here and say: "Oh man, these were dark days for my musical taste," but fuck that. Fuck that because Ace of Base STILL is awesome. Well... at least the album "The Sign." This was the first CD I ever bought... EVER. And by "bought," I mean that my mom paid for it at the store. Interestingly enough, the same day we bought this CD was the day we got our first CD player for our house. The first time I listened to the album, I played "The Sign" approximately 100x in a row. For whatever reason, as a kid you can listen to a song on repeat like this and not get the least bit irritated. For a solid month I don't think I was aware that there were other songs on the album. But then I got adventurous and eventually discovered the other classics buried on the CD: "Don't Turn Around," "All that She Wants," and my personal favorite, "Wheel of Fortune."



My favorite member of the band was the male rapper because at this phase of my life, I think I thought he was cool. TODAY though, I look back and think: "Dude, he HAD to be joking... right?!" At one point, I'm pretty sure I knew all the words to the entire CD. I also recall hanging out at a friend's house, and belting out the lyrics to the songs as they played WHILE jumping on a trampoline. Wait... what? I mean... that never happened. Go away.

Still 4th Grade-ish I think... Gin Blossoms- New Miserable Experience


The Gin Blossoms have come full circle for me. I first got into them because of the song "Allison Road." I had a mild obsession with this song and I'm pretty sure that it was the only one I liked at the time (out of every other song on Earth).



As a sidenote, how many TVs does that damn house have?! And why are there dudes carrying them around randomly from room to room?!

Once I got over the hump of "Allison Road," I listened to the rest of the CD for a good couple months. Eventually though, the album was buried and I really never heard much from the Gin Blossoms again until they because ubiquitous on the Sirius 90s rock channel (Lithium 24). Now, I think I need to repurchase the album because there are so man good songs on it! The Gin Blossoms were/are a solid, high quality mainstream rock band! Compare that to what's mainstream now, and it's easy to observe a noiceable drop in musical talent over time. I would take the Gin Blossoms over Nickelback and 3 Doors Down and the other trashy bands today in a heartbeat.

The reason this album was important to me was because it opened the door to rock. I was gradually able to tear myself away from the Europop of Ace of Base and start getting into music that had guitar in it!

5th-6th Grade I think... Offspring- Smash

This album is so untouchable. It starts out with a soothing narrative in "Time to Relax." You think: "Hey, this is cool... There's this dude talking about how he just wants to chill out. That's fine." BUT THEN, "Nitro" starts and your heart starts going 100000000 bpm just to keep up with the drumming! From beginning to end, this album is so classic. I bought it for the single "Come out and play," but definitely didn't expect to be so into the rest of it! I specifically recall the song "Bad Habit" because of the line "You stupid dumbshit goddamn motherfucker!" followed by a heavy dose of power chords! As I was still under my parents' roof at the time, I could not swear as I like, and so by playing this song I felt like I was rebelling against the system... or something. Anyway, my friends and I loved that album at the time. This was THE perfect album to scream along to at the top of your lungs. "Gotta get away," "Self Esteem," and "Come out and play" were the hit singles, but the rest of the album was mindblowingly cool. Five stars. A+. Top of the line.

Offspring released maybe one more good album after that before essentially selling out and putting out some really trashy stuff...

Well, that about sums up Part 1.
Just for kicks, I'll throw in a few radio singles that I was into during this 4th-6th grade phase:

John Mellencamp- Wild Night
This was the cougar's cover of Van Morrison, EXCEPT they changed the bassline to make it LETHALLY awesome.

At the risk of being made fun of incessantly,
Seal-Kiss from a rose

Hey... we all make mistakes.

Finally,
Real McCoy- Another Night
In the land of 6th grade middle school after-school dances, Real Mccoy was king.

Art

There is a SWEET site on the internet that sells some pretty sick art...

I highly suggest you visit and spend some time here!

http://www.inprnt.com

This is a print (is this the right word? I don't know...) I found on there that is ULTRA AND INCREDIBLY BADASS. I am ordering 7 of them right now. Okay... not seven. But one. It combines my love for zombies with my fond memories of recess. God zombies are sweet.

Hell, while we're at it, check out this zombie video by the Handsome Furs, whose latest album FACE CONTROL gets my wholehearted approval and support:



Awesome.

US Airways

*Special message to my mom if she's reading this one: You may want to skip it. I'm angry and I swear a lot. I don't have time to destress through Yoga like you. Hence, I swear.*

Okay- Long story short.
I had plans in Grand Rapids, MI. and they fell through.

I was going to get to Grand Rapids by airplane. Specifically, I would fly from Washington, DC Reagan to Chicago O'Hare to Grand Rapids. I would leave Grand Rapids through Chicago as well. Anyway, I bought my ticket a while ago... When my plans fell through, I said:

"Fuck it, I'll go to Chicago. I can just NOT use the Chicago-Grand Rapids legs of my flight, and fly into and leave out of Chi-town. "

Easy enough, right? Wrong. When I called US Airways to inform them of my change in plans, I was remarkably told that for my NEW plan to work out, I would have to pay a $150.00 fee!

"UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!" was what I wanted to scream. Instead, I went on a search for answers:

Me:
"Wait... what? That's ridiculous. Why would I have to pay money... I'm not changing anything. I'm just providing a notice that I'm not going to fly the second leg of the flight."

US Airways:
"Well if you don't fly the second leg, we'll cancel the return."

That about did it with my patience so I just hung up on US Airways to think about my options.

They were:
1) Pay $150 to go to Chicago
2) Eat the cost of the whole trip and smile about my good luck.
...
But then a roomie came in with another great idea... Bail on the Chicago-Grand Rapids leg of the trip, and then just book a cheaper 1-way return. AND, lo and behold, I found 1-ways for $130.00 on Kayak...

Ultimately though, I can't help feeling like I am being totally and completely fucked by karma and by US Airways right now. As far as I'm concerned, enduring this airline-fiasco-fucked up mess thing is going to be such a karma-rewarding experience for me, that I will have SO MUCH positive karma built up for the future! I will then hopefully be able to do something like orchestrate a Ponzi scheme to make millions to offset my original loss on the flight. But even after that, I'll probably be at a karma-neutral level which will be fine with me.

Anyway, this is what I wrote those idiots:

Hi,

I recently had a change in plans that has resulted in my not needing to go to Grand Rapids for my trip. However, I am still interested in flying into and out of Chicago.

I called to speak to a representative about this and was told that I would be charged AN ADDITIONAL $150.00 to ignore the Grand Rapids part of my trip. Please tell me that isn't true. That's absolutely ridiculous. My entire flight is paid for, and I don't see what difference it makes if one leg is eliminated. You (the airline)could easily put it back up for sale, and then resell it. And if nobody buys, the sale has already been made!

Additionally, WHY would I ever agree to pay a $150 "cancellation" fee?! I'm not cancelling the flight, I'm just not flying on it. Secondly, I can get a cheaper ONE-WAY TICKET BACK TO WASHINGTON! They are $130 on Kayak. But the thought of even having to do that to get around some unbelievably stupid fee in the first place is mind-blowing.

Please tell me that there is some way my Chicago to Grand Rapids (and GRR to ORD) legs can be eliminated WITHOUT a fee. It is criminal to charge somebody for MAKING NO CHANGE TO THEIR ITINERARY.

You have a chance to save a customer or make somebody irate with your airline for life!

Please advise.

Another Music-Related Post

Dude.

Chris Cornell is effing KILLING ME.

He went from being an alt-rock GOD/lead singer of Soundgarden, to something that entirely defies description. THAT'S how bad it is.

Let's take a look:

Here's CC in his badass days, screaming out two facemelters: "Jesus Christ Pose," and "Rusty Cage"...

Jesus Christ Pose


Rusty Cage


Here's Chris today:


Holy shit. Everytime I hear that song, I want to projectile vomit everywhere. You know what's crazy? CC worked with Timbaland on that album! CC + Timbaland is as bad as Little Wayne trying to do a rock album. Anyway, back to the song: Who are those pathetic sidekicks on stage?! Did he hire an adult contemporary band to back him up? Why is this song so fucking weak? Look at the crowd! They couldn't be LESS into it!

Of course, just give it a few weeks for it to get onto the radio, and then I'll have to overhear conversations like:

"Hey dude, so I'm really into that Chris Cornell guy... He's a lot like Daughtry- He's got some pipes bra."

This to me wreaks of sellout. Sellout sellout sellout. And I'm not one to just go accusing bands and singers of selling out, but this is miserable!!!!!!!!!

I'm sticking to my OLD Soundgarden stash, Pearl Jam, and the handful of other bands that are out there that still bring it with originality.

LATE BREAKING UPDATE:
I just watched another new CC video... It's even worse than the other one:

Restaurant Week- Washington, DC

In case you weren't aware, DC's restaurant week kicked off this past week. It's advertised as:

Join us this February when nearly 180 of metropolitan Washington, DC's finest restaurants offer awe-inspiring, multi-course meals prepared especially for this gourmet event.

Destination DC and the Restaurant Association Metropolitan Washington are proud to present the 14th Washington, DC Restaurant Week from February 16-22.

Lunch: $20.09 for a three-course fixed-price meal
Dinner: $35.09 for a three-course fixed-price meal

Because I'm not refined in any way, shape, or form, I had no idea that restaurant week was going on. BUT, my roommate did, and he had the foresight to make reservations at VIDALIA for four of us.

Anyway, the day of our reservation, I was SLAMMED at work and basically did not have time to eat through most of the day. "No big deal," I said to myself, "I'm going to restaurant week tonight! They're going to have so much food for me that I'm going to explode!"

Well, this was my "awe-inspiring" $35.09 meal:



What you see above is a decadent meal of flounder. And I hate to say it, but the way it appears on your screen (if about 17"), is actual size. This piece of shit was about 2 square inches large. Of course, they probably realized that people would not be satisfied with the portion of flounder, which is OBVIOUSLY why they complimented it with the ONE piece of asparagus. The other crap you see on the plate is a mixture of different splashes of sauces, because at a fancy restaurant, making an abstract work of art on your plate is just as important as fucking your customer on the portion-size.

Now to be fair, prior to the flounder, they did give an appetizer. I chose the snapper to be mine, but it too was two incredibly small sushi-like pieces of fish. Pathetic.

Overall, the food was good, but there was too damn little of it to make this even a remotely enjoyable experience! The whole time I was there, I was thinking about what I was going to eat as soon as I got home. In case your wondering, we stopped at 7-11 on the way back and I got taquitos.

I learned my lesson though. I should never pretend to be refined, or attempt to fit in with the fancy crowd in this city because it is all (that's right, I said 'ALL' because I am jumping to one huge conclusion off of one bad experience- it's my blog and I can do what I want) one big scam. There is no way that anybody dining at Vidalia will get more enjoyment out of there $35, .07 lb meal than I will out of a $10 Papa Johns pizza.

Sweet New Songs...

I'm in love with these songs:




Although I swear, Lil' Wayne is fucking EVERYWHERE it seems. Though this song is awesome, I am less than enthused about his new "ROCK ALBUM." If you haven't heard the song "Prom Queen" yet, it is TERRIBLE! Comically bad! Almost as bad as Kevin Federline trying to rap. Here it is for your viewing pleasure:


It makes me want to puke and laugh at the same time.

Two Awesome Songs

People come to this blog to have their mind blown. If you watch these videos, I assure you your mind will be blown with awesomeness.