Thursday, November 22, 2012

Day 21: Thanksgiving, Biking, Compression Shorts

Today would be a good day to be thankful for my blog. You can show your appreciation by donating to my Movember Campaign! Donate Here! I should note that from a business perspective, Movember is fantastic because compared to other organizations for a cause, they really don't spend that much on fundraising... because the MUSTACHES do the work!


Happy Turkey Day everybody!


Get it?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh Lordylord, I kill me.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody! Today, I am thankful for everybody and everything in my life because I am genuinely, for the most part, a happy person, though Liz will no doubt remind me of this the next time I totally freak out because of stress. 

So this month of November, I mean Movember, also happens to be the "Month of Volunteerism" at the Georgetown McDonough School of Business. So, this morning, I volunteered by helping out at the SOME (So Others Might Eat) Turkey Trot race down in Freedom Plaza. My volunteering experience was a touch complicated though because of something that happened yesterday.

For the past few weeks, I have noticed that my car is fighting a little bit harder to start every time I turn the ignition. So, I diagnosed it as the 5+ year old battery reaching the end of the line. This left me with two options- have the battery replaced somewhere or replace it myself. Well, for once in my life I decided to try and fix my car myself. I went to Advance Auto Parts, purchased the battery, and then they said: "Would you like us to install it for you?" At this point my brain screamed: "YES!" but I didn't want to seem TOTALLY incompetent so I said: "Yeah, I mean I might as well if you're offering." And so they sent out a very socially awkward 18ish year old guy to tend to my battery. Upon opening up the hood, the guy just looked at me and said: "Holy corrosion. When was the last time you touched your battery?" The answer, obviously was never since I have an irrational fear of somehow being electrocuted by it, or the battery exploding and showering me with acid. 


To make a long story short, my positive battery terminal is completely fused to the battery, in an acidy hardened mess. The 18ish year old just looked at me and said: "Man, I'm sorry, I can't get this battery off, I would take your car to a mechanic ASAP and get them to replace the terminals... They'll probably need to saw it off."

Well fuck. That's where self motivation and initiative gets you. To the damn auto shop. Well, they couldn't tend to my car yesterday, and so it is sitting outside my house- I plan to drop it off somewhere tomorrow but don't want to risk it dying on me before then. AND SO TO RETURN TO MY ORIGINAL STORY, I biked to the Turkey Trot this morning. I woke up at 4:30 AM, left my house at 5:00 AM, and arrived at 5:30 AM- If you didn't know, I get everywhere early. Because 10 minutes early is on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable. I learned that little gem from my kung-fu school.

At 5:00 AM, the temperature in DC was roughly 40 degrees, but factoring in the wind chill I felt while riding at the speed of lightning, I experienced a "Feels Like" temperature of -300 degrees. This is roughly the temperature at which you have a 99.99% chance of spontaneously cryogenically freezing. When I arrived at the Turkey Trot, I went about my volunteering duties, helping people get their bib numbers, etc. As I did this, I couldn't help but notice that the runners were, for the most part, insane in how little they were wearing. I saw my biggest fashion pet peeve numerous times. What is that?

It's this:


Guys wearing compression shorts as shorts. Just DON'T DO IT! The above picture looks relatively innocuous, but the image has clearly been airbrushed or something- When this happens in real life, let's just say there is nothing left to the imagination. Compression shorts alone is akin to indecent exposure. Shame on you if you do this.

After volunteering ended, I biked home- another 5 miles, except this time, it was UPHILL and the circumstances had drastically changed. It was now 50 degrees, and I was overheating. At one point, I moved to the sidewalk. Up ahead of me was an old couple (70s?) walking their dog at an agonizingly slow pace. I eventually caught up to them, and was barely able to wheeze an "ON YOUR RIGHT" because the uphill climb was beating my lungs to death. It took about an hour to pass them, and it was at that point that I realized I was actually moving only slightly faster than they were. If they were a 10 on the scale of Agonizing Slowness, I was a 9.93, and very close to achieving their level of mastery at moving slowly. The best part though, is that as this all unfolded, I still found it in my heart to be angry at them for moving so slowly on the sidewalk! God I'm awesome.





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