Jesus Christ, Scientist

As my girlfriend and I walked back from a filling brunch this weekend, we had to walk past my least favorite building in DC.

Behold.  This grimy, dirty... thing... is actually "Third Church of Christ, Scientist."

To which I said:  "Wait... Wasn't Christ a carpenter?"  Turns out he was a scientist too I guess, or at least according to the "Church of Christ, Scientist (Wikipedia)"

Anyway, the building sucks, and the name of the church is weird.

The building looks like Robocop's head, right?!  Right?!  AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT?

I don't know about you, but I think it's weird that a CHURCH designed their building around a law enforcing cyborg's head?  Is this some symbol?  Does this church believe that there will be an ultimate day of reckoning where Robo Cop purges society of sinners?  Does the church extend 50 stories underground, forming a GIANT Robo Cop that will rise and do the purging?!  You may think that what I just typed sounds crazy, but when things like this exist, is it REALLY out of the realm of possibility?  This Church is actually real.  It's in Ohio (obviously).  You can see it when you drive down I-75.  When I first saw it I screamed: "Jesus!"  Except it wasn't because I actually saw Jesus, it was me using his name in vain.  Thus, when I get to the gates of heaven, let the record show that I was a profane man, but honest.  

Let's research more.

Hmm...  Interesting seal guys.  So you want to:

1)  Heal the Sick

2)  Raise the Dead (ZOMBIES WTF?!?!?!)

3)  Cleanse the Lepers

4)  Cast out Demons

I can get behind all of those goals except for #2... and I would prefer not to touch lepers.  Cleansing the lepers seems like a low-paying, non-fulfilling job.  But then again, there is 9.X% unemployment.  Leper cleansing could generate the jobs we need!  But getting back to #2...  America has zombie fever right now.  People talk about zombies all the time thinking that its all just fun and games.  But is it fun and games when there are groups actively trying to raise the dead?  

That's fucked up.  And should they succeed anytime soon, I'm going to make sure I have shotguns loaded and ready (Disclaimer:  Last I checked,  possession of firearms  within the District is either illegal or highly restricted- I'm guessing I would have to store them in safes at my parents' residence in Virginia, a short 15 minute drive from my home. Which means, if the dead are raised, I'll have to get from DC to Virginia with only my brains, brawn, and above average agility.)

Anyway, I was thinking that I could start a Church of my own soon...  Here are some ideas I was tossing around in my head:

• Church of Christ, Esq. (the seal would be Jesus wielding a gavel)
• Church of Christ, Marine Biologist (the seal would be Jesus riding a dolphin)

Okay, those were the only two I had.  

But when I think back on it, I once saw a picture of Jesus Christ riding a dinosaur on a friend's blog, and "Church of Christ, Dinosaur Rider" has the best ring to it, the best "seal imagery" (see below), and the best marketing/advertising/and-most-importantly-selling power.