Zombie Ants, and Soon, Zombie Humans

You may recall that I support the killing of zombies (December Zombies Post).

Well, shit just got real.

National Geographic is reporting that there are now zombie ants:  Zombie Ants

I'm telling you-  People, it's only only a matter of time before we have humans turning into zombies-  And we are going to need to be prepared.  Let's analyze, shall we?

Exhibit A is a zombie ant, courtesy of  National Geographic:

Downright disgusting and terrifying, in a 20/80 split.  Note that a "stalk of fungus" grows out of the ant's head, takes over its brain, and then ultimately kills the ant when it has reached a point where it can successfully and efficiently spread out its spores TO REPRODUCE.  Freaky shit, right?

Exhibit B is an image from the video game Resident Evil 5.  The basic plot of the game is that you control a character that must fight hordes of zombies.  And, the people have become zombies thanks to a potent mix of bad bad chemicals that were engineered by a dark pharmaceutical corporation.  But most importantly is that the zombie people in this game ALSO have "stalks" or tentacles growing out of their fucking heads!  There is a slight difference in that the stalk replaces their head in the game, but still:

So what am I getting at?

WELL, my point is that if ants are zombifying, THIS CAN SPREAD TO PEOPLE TOO.  Look at ebola.  First a monkey had it.  Then a person had it.  It's not beyond the realm of possibility.   Resident Evil 5 has provided us with a chilling glimpse of what the future could hold for all of us.

Now I imagine that a lot of you might laugh at this post.  "Hahaha- another stupid zombie post!"

You're an idiot.  What you should be doing is going to your local hardware store, and stocking up on chainsaws, axes, and hammers...  for when your shotguns run out of ammo and you've already turned that box of Franzia that you were never going to drink into a molotov box cocktail of death and destruction.  

Don't say I didn't give you ample warning.

Zombies

I've got this thing for zombies.  Not like... a sexual  thing, but a "thing" as in like... I think zombies are awesome.  And, by "zombies are awesome," I don't so much mean that they are really in fact awesome, but that um... if a zombie plague somehow breaks out and I am fighting for survival, you better believe that with my kung fu skills (I'm a green and white belt, and continually improving), and mean handling of a shovel (or other weapon), watching me inflict a world of pain onto these undead abominations is going to be an awesome spectacle.

Okay- so zombies themselves aren't awesome, but killing them is awesome.  This statement is probably the one universal truth in the world.  EVERYONE can agree that zombies should be killed.  Are you Republican and do you hate Democrats?  Or are you a Democrat and you hate Republicans?  Or do you not care about politics?  It doesn't even matter.  Race, gender, political leanings all go out the window when the zombies come  because its "kill, or be killed."

But anyway- back to the topic at hand.  I have a thing for zombies.  I own books about zombies, watch movies about zombies, play video games involving zombies, but I have taken my fascination with the living dead to a new level:

I bought a zombie board game.  Now you may say:  "Steve, I didn't know you were down with that nerdy Dungeons and Dragons shit."  And to that I say:  Sorry asshole-  the zombie premise of the game overrules any potential nerdiness, and instantly makes everybody playing the game AWESOME.

So I haven't played the game yet- But it is for 2-6 players.  Best I can tell, there are up to four "heroes" and one to two players play as the zombies.  The heroes try to survive or kill the zombies, and the zombies I guess try to eat the heroes' brains.  I am getting really hyper writing about this game.  It just... has so much POTENTIAL!

Anyway, I think the trial run of this game is going to take place this weekend-  and it's probably going to involve a lot of beer.  And if the rules are too complicated, I'm pretty sure we are just going to disintegrate into a bunch of drunk assholes throwing plastic zombie figurines at each other.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

And before you ask, yes, I bought the "Growing Hunger" expansion pack for the game as well.

While we're on the topic of zombies, have any of you guys seen the movie Dead Snow?  It's a Norwegian horror movie.  After watching the preview, I immediately ordered the DVD... except the fucker is region-locked so I'm stuck with a foreign DVD of a Nazi Zombie flick.  Not to be deterred though, I have just place an order for the Region 1 version of the movie on Amazon.  I'm either an idiot, or brilliant beyond recognition.

Art

There is a SWEET site on the internet that sells some pretty sick art...

I highly suggest you visit and spend some time here!

http://www.inprnt.com

This is a print (is this the right word? I don't know...) I found on there that is ULTRA AND INCREDIBLY BADASS. I am ordering 7 of them right now. Okay... not seven. But one. It combines my love for zombies with my fond memories of recess. God zombies are sweet.

Hell, while we're at it, check out this zombie video by the Handsome Furs, whose latest album FACE CONTROL gets my wholehearted approval and support:



Awesome.