Open Letter to President-Elect Barack Obama

President Obama,

First and foremost, congratulations on your amazing ascent to the most powerful position in the world. Now, to business. If you check your campaign's records, you will notice a $25.00 contribution from yours truly. That said, I think you can spare a few minutes of your time to read my important message.

President Obama, you say you want to CHANGE Washington, and CHANGE the world. You want to focus on bailing out MAIN street. You want to end useless wars and focus our attention on the true hotbeds of terror. But I ask you this sir: HOW CAN WE DO THIS WHEN OUR NATION IS ASLEEP? Allow me to explain. This country has unlimited potential, but so much of it is lost due to the sleepiness that persists from coast to coast. Let's take myself as an example. Do you know what time I get up? 5:45 AM. Do you know what time I get back from work? 7:00 PM. Then, I eat work out, eat dinner, relax for a minute, and try to go to bed early. On a good night, I get 6 hours of sleep. Sir, I'm no mathemagician, but 6 hours does not equal the 8 hours that everybody says is the minimum amount that a body needs to function successfully. And I George-Foreman-guarantee that the majority of other Americans are experiencing sleep deprivation just like me.

Sir, what we need is a siesta. Before we can change things for the better, we need to wake up. Not with energy drinks or $5.00 Venti pumpkin spice lattes, but through that amazing mid-day nap that our Spanish friends have perfected. This is one initiative that I'm sure Democrats and Republicans can agree will be beneficial to the country. Your popularity would skyrocket, and the nation would thank you as a savior of a sleep. Please contact me at your earliest convenience, and we can discuss arranging a visit for me to introduce this idea to the House and Senate.

Thank you,
Steve

PS: What kind of puppy are you going to get?