Shit Work Computer- It's all cramping my style and stuff

This, or some iteration of this, is my work computer.  I found it on eBay.  You'll notice the sale price on it is $80.00

The condition is "For Parts or not working"

As I so eloquently put it to my coworker a few months ago:

"Why are we stuck with these pieces of primitive fucking shit?"  

Now, best I can tell, my particular work computer is only around 4-5 years old.

But 4-5 computer years = about 126 human years.

Like every PC I've ever come across, this POS seems to grow more and more useless with each passing day.

Today, it took 15 minutes to start up.

As in, I did absolutely nothing for 15 minutes.

Hypothetically, let's say that the average person in America with a shitbox like this at work makes $55,000.

(15 minutes/(60 minute/hr x 8 hr "standard" work day)) = .03125

That is, 3.125% of each and every day at work by the user of a R51 ThinkPad or similar is totally wasted.

You may say:  "Well wait!  Not EVERYONE with your computer experiences these problems and wasted time!"

You're wrong- they do!  I know it!  If it's not waiting for it to boot up, the hourglass is permanently displayed, windows are frozen, or applications are quitting.  Take this for example.  As I was finishing my morning coffee, I pulled up gunnerblog.com, a very awesome Arsenal website.  After breezing through the latest match report, I tried going over to the New York Times*.  The ThinkPad however, thought otherwise of that idea:

(Click to enlarge)

This shit happens constantly!

I won't even get started on what happens if you try to stream any media.  In fact, even scrolling through an all text document is likely to overexert this machine.

Back to the math, 3.125% x $55,000 = $1,718/year.

With not even HALF that amount, I could get myself a 5000% more functional computer that would increase my work satisfaction 10 fold.

But- These are the days of shitty economies so I don't anticipate any change coming...

One day though, I swear to God...

*Some readers may argue that visiting an Arsenal website or the NYT is in itself, a waste of time.  I disagree, and think that such non-work related detours play a crucial role in keeping one's sanity over the course of working the next 50 years of one's life.

Tired. Exhaustion. Fatigue. A poem.

here's some free flowing floetry for your fun friday:

i was so tired at work today,

i wikipedia-d "hibernation."

too much jibberish came up,

so i tried again:

"hibernation in humans"

?

findings indicate impossibility at this juncture.

fuck.

total buzkill... except:

there was no buzz in the first fucking place because i was way too tired to be buzzed!

back to coffee machine.

our coffee is awful.

wished i was a bear...  cuz they can hibernate... which is what i wanted to do.

told coworker:

"dude, i wish i was a bear so i could hibernate.  you know they are like barely alive when they hibernate???!!!!"

he though i was punny.  

what an ass.

Energy Tube

Do you ever do that thing where you look at text and you completely ignore what is actually there in favor of what you WANT to see? That happened to me the other day on the Metro. I saw the above sign, and read the following:

LET'S BUILD A BETTER ENERGY TUBE.
LEGO.

And you know what I thought?!

"Holy fuck! Lego is making energy tubes now!"

Now, I didn't know what in the hell an energy tube was, or why Lego started advertising them and manufacturing them, but at that moment, I wanted one... BAD! Imagine my disappointment when I realized that my poor reading comprehension skills were to blame for this misunderstanding. Oh well. If these things ever do get made, I will be the first one in line at LegoLand.

Things Like and Not Like Denard Robinson

Denard Robinson is tricky to describe. Pictoral comparisons are the best way to capture his essence.


Not Like:


Like:


Like:


Not Like:


Like:


Not Like:


Not Like:


Like:

Eastern Market

Last weekend I went to Eastern Market on the weekend for the first time ever. It was VERY cool. I'll definitely be going back to maybe pick up a painting or two. BUT, the coolest thing I saw there by far was this:



For those who don't know, I am a huge t-shirt junkie. Typically, they are designer t-shirts. And by designer, I don't mean Gucci or Armani or that crap, but AWESOMELY CREATIVE PEOPLE WHO MAKE SHIRTS THAT ARE VISUALLY AWESOME. And the above shirt fits that description to a TEE. I can't describe how awesome it is. It has A GD ALIEN MAKING PANCAKES IN THE CAPITOL DOME! GENIUS! Anyway, if you're into this sort of t-shirt art, I recommend you check out the designer's site:

JON WYE

I gotta say... after spending some time talking to the Eastern Market folks that were at the Jon Wye stands and breezing the website, I'm inclined to spend a lot more dollars on this dude's stuff!

AND, to stop the suspense, I DID buy this shirt. In addition to the robot one which you can see on the website.

Prior to this Alien-Pancake-Capitol shirt, my favorite shirt was this:



And I own two of them. Because you see, when one stumbles across something as awesome as this, you must buy two, since one will eventually be needed to replace the one you wear all the time. At least that's how I view it.

I only got one of the Alien shirt though... for now... I just gotta make sure it's the right size!

Electric Six

FACT: Electric Six is one of the best bands ever.

Most people only know that they were responsible for the song: "Danger! High Voltage!"

WELL, since then (that was 2003), a lot of things have happened! Most noticeably, they have cranked out five other albums! And ALL of them are high quality. That's saying a lot for a band these days- Take Kings of Leon for example. They put out 3 solid albums and then sell the F out. Not Electric Six. I think E6 is more dedicated to keeping the rock alive because they're from the D(etroit). And if you haven't heard, it's so cold in the D.



Oh, by the way. The above video is for real. How awful, right?

The reason E6 gets their own post today is because they just recently released their newest album titled "Kill." (By just recently, I mean it was released in October 2009) I admit it, I had slacked off as a fan and missed the release until... well... now. But now is the time to make up for it by supporting the band through attending their shows! I have a feeling this recent tour is going to be awesome because the new album is a pretty hard rocking good time! This band TOURS NON-STOP and deserves your support!

Looking back, I think I've seen them 6 times... Each show was fantastic!
Ann Arbor, MI 2004
Ann Arbor, MI 2005
Baltimore, MD 2006
Washington, DC 2006
Washington, DC 2007
New York City, 2008

The NYC show was the last time I've seen them, and that show was part of the Rocks Off concert circuit (a bunch of shows on boats). It was a phenomenal night. Electric Six was amazing as usual, but unfortunately they were overshadowed by a heavy metal Beegees tribute band! They're back with a vengeance though for another boat show this summer, and Thursday, July 15th is the date when that goes on. Let's all go to NYC and bask in the goodness of an awesome band on a boat!



That's all. I'm off to the store to get more... FIRE!

Hello Friday Night

Start your Friday (or ANY) night out right, and kick this song through your speakers: