My complaint to Arlington County. With all the revenue they generate in giving me parking tickets, they should be able to fix the problem I've submitted:

Environmental Services

Residential Concrete Maintenance Problem Report

Thank you. Your problem report has been sent and we will try to address the problem as soon as possible.

Please click the link to return to the Department of Environmental Services main webpage.

Date:

1/27/2010

Address1:

Intersection of Thomas and North Carlin Springs

Problem:

There is an approximately 2' diameter by 4-6" deep pothole right in the middle of the area where North Carlin Springs and Thomas Street intersect. Vehicles turning onto Thomas from North Carlin Springs pass directly over this pothole in their turn. Pedestrians walking across Thomas street pass directly over this pothole as well. This pothole is a menace to society. Every time I drive to my girlfriend's place, I park on Thomas Street, and in the process of getting there, hit this pothole. Every time. It puts me in a bad mood, and I then get yelled at by her. I fear this pothole will end my relationship if it is not fixed in a timely manner. Thanks.

This isn't a book review. This is an order to go out and buy Andre Agassi's autobiography. I'm only 100 pages in (it was a Christmas gift from me, to me), but it is amazing.

Now, I played tennis from age 8 to 18. Andre Agassi is my favorite tennis player ever. His wife, Steffi Graf is hands-down my favorite female tennis player. As a kid, I wanted to BE Andre Agassi, and I tried to mimic certain parts of my game after him. SO, I'm biased in recommending this. BUT, if you EVER watched Agassi play and were impressed or found it enjoyable, you need to read this book... That's all.

Joanne Shaw Taylor

Hi blog-readers. Let me introduce you to my new favorite musician of the moment, Joanne Shaw Taylor, who I will refer to as JST for the duration of this post.

JST is fucking awesome, and once again, I must thank Sirius for introducing me to a kickass artist.


Last week, I was driving home from work when I decided that I needed to hear some "different" music... Now in spite of all the channels Sirius has, I personally think that the selection of what is played on those channels has gone noticeably downhill ever since the merger with XM. That said, I have been exploring the other channels in hope of finding another "go-to-option" when everything being played on the channels I normally listen to is trash. So, I decided to switch over to the BB King Blues Channel. AND THEN, JST came on...

... this song in particular:



This song floored me because:
a) JST has an awesome voice
b) JST is ridiculously good at guitar
c) This is the exact same style of guitar playing that I want to be very good at, at SOME POINT in my life.
d) Just in general, I think the song has all the makings of a PERFECT bluesy song.
e) Also, further research into JST revealed that she's BRITISH! Yeah... what?! a female BRITISH blues singer?! This has to be as rare as a unicorn.

I encourage everybody to go and download this album. Also, if you haven't figured it out yet, buy your MP3 albums from Amazon instead of iTunes because they are cheaper. I've been so impressed by her album that I checked her tour dates, and am now seeing her play in Annapolis at the Rams Head Tavern (insanely cool small venue) in February. It will be fantastic!

Back from Hiatus! Let's Talk Christmas!

I know I know... EVERYBODY has been freaking out because this hasn't been updated in ages... Fear not! I am back!

I've been a busy beaver! I have lots to blog about! I will be posting quite a bit for the next couple weeks so stay tuned!

Let's cut to the chase though and talk Christmas. This is my list of demands... er... requests for Christmas.

1. The Ultimates Omnibus- I've been out of the comic book game for many-a-year now, but I just discovered (I'm late to the party, I know) that Marvel puts out these so-called Omnibus-es (or Omnibii??? whatever...) Basically, these are 700+ page hardcover bound full color collections of entire runs of certain comics... The Ultimates is the primary one I want. It was a great run, and it was turned into two animated movies that I loved.

2. New X-Men Omnibus- Okay, I'll save you the suspense, and cut to the chase and say that the next several items are comics. This particular Omnibus apparently runs $200+ new due to the fact it is out of print. Nevertheless, the whole run is available in paperback format for a total of about $70 (spread over 3 or so volumes)... I may have to go that route.


3. Astonishing X-Men Omnibus- More X-Men... not much else to say here, other than that this volume is priced normally ($50ish) since it is still in-print. I should mention that I love the X-Men. I used to watch the cartoon and read the comics as a kid. Unfortunately the movies have sucked, but this and the last Omnibus are supposed to represent a whole new take on the series, and they both have received critical acclaim (probably from other nerds).
4. Daredevil Omnibus- Daredevil is a unique Marvel superhero that I never really knew too much about... I didn't read the comics as a kid, but I've always been curious to see exactly how badass he is. I have the feeling the answer is "VERY."


I mean... he's a blind dude that sees through infra-red vision or something, and has all sorts of brutal fighting ability!

5. Assasin's Creed II- I know nothing about this game other than that it is supposed to be absolutely phenomenal. Now, I have somewhat of a backlog in my video game playing- I still have to beat Batman: Arkham Asylum, and take my FIFA franchise to greatness, but I'm sure I can squeeze in time for this one!


6. Chamakh- This is a little bit of a stretch as a gift, but I would like Arsenal to pick up Marouane Chamakh the second the Transfer Window opens. From all indicators, he would be the second coming of Christ, and so I welcome this addition to the team!

Obie Trice

So I heard an awesome song today... and I decided to look up the video.

A little history on Obie Trice is that he was born and raised in the D (etroit), was signed by Eminem, and THEN was later shot twice while driving on the Lodge in Detroit! One of the bullets is STILL IN HIS HEAD! That's some straight up James Bond Villain Shit!

Anyway, do yourself a favor and watch the video here (it won't let me embed it):

Obie Trice- Cry Now

Oh, and get this! Someone actually commented the following on YouTube:

"OBIE...BABY...I'm straight from Saginaw,Michigan and just wanted to let everybody know that this is one of if not the most underrated artists in the game.Lyrics and flow are sick...Creative...It's about time somebody from The Great Lake State Represented...Keep Ya Head Up...Handle your business...This is me and my father's song...He loved this shit..You got the whole Murder Mitten behind you....Hail To The Victors...Hold us down Obie..."

That is hysterical! Michigan- referred to as the "Murder Mitten!" I could not stop laughing when I read that!!!!!!!!!!!!

Court Follow Up

Day of Reckoning

October 23rd, 2009 was a cool autumn day. Steve's alarm went off promptly at 8:00 AM and he groaned. Today was his day in court to fight a reckless driving charge. He had taken all the necessary measure to fight the charge (hiring a lawyer, getting copies of his driver's license), but he still was skeptical about escaping from the court room with minimal fines...

Steve dressed himself with extra care this morning. "If I get fucked by the Commonwealth, at least I'll look professional" he thought to himself. He eventually settled on black pinstriped pants, and a white and green plaid shirt. Not tacky plaid like a western cowboy shirt, but something classier, like you would find at Banana Republic.

As he exited his apartment building and entered his car, he had to again remind himself of that old saying from the Field of Dreams... What is that saying again?? Something like: "If you speed, the Commonwealth will fuck you."?? So, he drove at exactly the speed limit out to Manassas Virginia. Driving at exactly the speed limit earned Steve some interesting reactions from the other people on the road. One lady kindly waved at him with one finger.


Steve got to the courthouse with about 30 minutes to spare. Turns out that was a good decision. There was no parking to be found- typical for the DC metropolitan area. After finding a parking spot 1/4 mile away, he walked to the courthouse.

Courthouse

It was an ugly building, and Steve wasn't sure if it was because of the architecture, or the total wastes of human beings hanging out around it waiting to be sentenced for idiotic crimes. At any rate, he walked up to the courthouse and was then quickly turned away by security guards for unknowingly attempting to commit the unforgivable crime of bringing a phone with camera capabilities inside.

After walking another 1/2 mile to return to his car, and then the courthouse, Steve finally got inside. Upon reaching the 2nd floor, the hallway outside the courtrooms was filled with people awaiting judgement. The attire of these people, damned by the law, was rather interesting, ranging from full denim outfits, to the finest Rocawear clothing. Steve mentally noted that he should avoid court again at all costs.

Once he ruled out 95% of the humans in the hallway from possibly being his lawyer, Steve approached a young woman with a legal pad who was frantically scribbling. "Umm... hi, are you Jennifer?" he asked. Though he sounded uncertain, he knew that this was his lawyer, because the other people around just looked like they sucked at life. Turns out Steve had in fact identified his lawyer. After brief introductions, Jennifer found the prosecutor in the hallway, and wheeled a deal in approximately 1 minute (literally). As Steve had a clean driver's record, the prosecutor agreed to drop the 86 mph in a 65 mph zone to a 79/65 violation. Instead of a $1,000+ fine, Steve was facing a chump change $200 violation. "Is this okay with you?" Jennifer asked once she had worked out the details. Steve replied "YES, let's just get this over with!"

Steve, Jennifer, and the prosecutor then entered the courtroom and waited for their turn in front of the judge. Steve witnessed a variety of other people being sentenced during this waiting period. He witnessed two DUI convictions, a larceny conviction, an unlawful entry conviction, a marijuana possession conviction, and several other petty theft charges. All of the defendants escaped with relatively minor slaps on the wrist (with the exception of Mr. DUI) : $50-150 fines, and 30 day prison sentences that could be overturned upon completion of a Shoplifter's Counselling Course or something similar.

"Well this certainly is strange..." thought Steve. "These people stole, got caught with drugs, and broke into shit, and they're paying less of a fine than my speeding ticket?!"

But then Steve thought about the other part of some of their sentences: being banned from Kohl's or Target or the like for periods of no less than 2 years. How hideous! How can one go on with life without TARGET?! Steve then thought he was in a much better position than those poor people.

Finally, it was Steve's turn to face judgement. The Prosecutor spoke first: "Your honor, the Commonwealth has agreed to reduce the charge to speeding, 79 in a 65, a fine of $200. BUT, since he was in a Highway Safety Corridor, it will be double, and a total fine of $400."

"Well fuck me... They fucking doubled it!" Steve thought.

"Is this acceptable to your client?" the judge asked Jennifer.

Jennifer replied: "Well... that wasn't how I understood the deal- I thought it was going to be $200."

The Prosecutor stared blankly at Jennifer.

Jennifer said to Steve: "Um... is $400 okay?"

"Not like I have a fucking choice," Steve thought to himself.

"Yes." Steve answered.

They exited the courtroom.

Steve went to pay the cashier. Total cost: $400.00...

...plus $60.00 in court fees.

Steve then drove away from the courthouse, again going exactly the speed limit in Virginia, and then speeding like everybody else once he crossed into the velocity friendly paradise of Maryland. As he drove, he thought about the potential of making a career change to LAWYER, as he calculated that the one he just paid made $700.00 for no more than 3 hours of work: A $233 hourly wage.

86 in a 65- A Tale of Reckless Driving

In case you didn't know, the Commonwealth of Virginia is out to fuck you for speeding. Let me tell you a story...

In late August, I got up to go to work in the morning like millions of other hardworking Americans. I went to a jobsite, and then got a phone call from a very pissed off client. Long story short, I got bitched out for an hour which resulted in me being completely flustered. I then had to drive to some obscure Civil War Battlefield in Spotsylvania (Yeah, exactly- WHERE?!). SO, I get on the highway (I95S), and start the long trek to the middle of nowhere.

Oh- Time out... I forgot to mention, that after I got bitched out by my client, I went back to my house to shoot out a few quick emails to try and remedy the situation... I was at my house for 5 minutes, and when I got outside, I had a parking ticket. Thanks Arlington. Assholes.

Anyway, I get on 95 S, and at this point in the story, it's 12:00 PM... For those of you non-drivers out there, 12 PM in DC means the Beltway and all surrounding highways are pretty much crystal clear. So, I'm flustered, and I'm driving, and I decide to get in the HOV (high-occupancy-vehicles) lanes because I figure if for some reason traffic is backed up, I'll be good to go in these lanes. Again, for the non-drivers, the HOV lanes are the ones dead center in the picture below. They run North in the morning, South in the afternoon.

So, now I'm in the HOV lanes. I go about 20 miles and end up going 86 in a 65, and BAM, a trooper pulls me over. He says, more or less: "Hi, in Virginia 20mph over the speed limit and over is a misdemeanor criminal offense. Here is your court date."

At this point I'm a little stunned. Criminal offense? For speeding? Seriously? At 12 PM? When nobody is within 500 feet of me? Well, the answers the questions above were: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

This is the law I broke:

§ 46.2-862 Exceeding speed limit - A person shall be guilty of reckless driving who drives a motor vehicle on the highways in the Commonwealth (i) at a speed of twenty miles per hour or more in excess of the applicable maximum speed limit or (ii) in excess of eighty miles per hour regardless of the applicable maximum speed limit.

It gets better... Turns out I was in a "Highway Safety Corridor" when I was speeding. This is what happens in Highway Safety Corridors:

The 2003 General Assembly enacted legislation for a Highway Safety Corridor program to improve safety on interstate and primary roads. In areas designated as Highway Safety Corridors, fines for speeding tickets are increased up to $500 and fines for criminal offenses such as reckless driving or driving under the influence could cost as much as $2,500.

"It is unacceptable to drive in an irresponsible manner in Virginia and there are consequence for those behaviors,” said Vince Burgess, Assistant Commissioner for the Department of Motor Vehicles. “Unfortunately the crash experience for this section of interstate makes it a top candidate. Our goal is to change that as quickly as possible.”

Now I get it... I was speeding, so I should be fined. But $2,500?! That is insane! For speeding in the middle of the afternoon?! That is unreal... And, I love how "reckless driving" and "driving under the influence" are mentioned in the same sentence. Am I, a good driver, as dangerous going fast on an empty road as some drunk asshole? No. All in all, these are ridiculous laws. They clog courts, and are insanely severe. How about targeting people who actually commit REAL crimes and NOT people who drive 40,000 miles/year for work and have one bad day?!

Long story short, I hired a lawyer. $750.00 for her, so it damn well better pay off. If fucking Paris Hilton can drive drunk all over Hollywood and get off with nothing, I deserve at least one Get Out of Jail Free card!