Yahoo News Says We're Going to Have a "Death Ray!"

Do you guys read Yahoo News?

I do.  I do at work.  When I take "breaks."  Because I am a firm believer that nobody can really work continuously (and productively) over the course of a day without taking a break.  And if you can, whoopdiefuckingdoo!  Find a new blog to read!  So yeah-  back to breaks.  When I take "breaks," my go-to website is YAHOO.com.  That's because:

1. I like to trade stocks and getting to their Finance stuff is easy from the front page, AND their Finance information is a pretty good summary of the information I'm looking for during a "break."
2. Their news page is absolute trash.  It's so trashy that I find it comical.  Below is a screenshot from today's Yahoo News page.

On any given day, you're likely to find one or two actual major news stories.  But the rest is just garbage!  For example, there is almost always a story like the above "Incredible play wins HS game."  If it's not an incredible play from a prep sports game, it's some faux pas that a professional athlete has committed.  Something like:  "Brett Favre Swears at Mississippi Waitress for Bad Service."  It's really not news, but they make it news.  Just like 95% of all other "news" providers these days.

Then, you have the dog show news story.  Who gives a shit?!  Does this need to be on the front page?  Really?!  

And then there's apparently video of an "Elderly Woman Severely Beaten."  Stay classy Yahoo!

I typically don't read all of these-  I kindof just glance at the headlines for the shock value to hit me.  You know, just like how you pick up a tabloid in the grocery store line and speed read 2% of it.

But today was anything but typical.

That's because our military is working on a GIANT FUCKING LASER BEAM!

Laser Beam Article

How awesome is this?!  I'll admit it.  I was one of those guys that said:  "Jesus Christ.  If we want to balance the budget and cut down our federal debt, let's just cut defense spending!  It's outrageous!  And it's wasteful!

But I stand corrected.  Any money spent on giant death rays is money well spent!  America is winning the future at the speed of LIGHT.   LASER BEAM LIGHT.