The Proposal

Hollywood: 1
My Brain: -240o8921

In what was a completely unfair matchup, Hollywood destroyed several hundred million of my brain cells yesterday when I willingly sat through the Proposal.

I honestly don't know what I was thinking for me to actually go to this movie... In fact, I think the train of thought that led up to me seeing this movie looked something like below:


That's right- It was a death train of terrible ideas and bad logic.

Anyway, I think the events that caused me to think this good started with me watching "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" on HBO about a month ago. THAT movie is HILARIOUS! Yet, it was also kindof a romantic comedy. I didn't remember it being funny in theaters, but for whatever reason, the second time around I could not stop laughing. Okay? So seeing that movie again and liking it SOMEHOW made me think that I might actually like other movies like that... I've already been called gay by plenty of people for this, so if you're thinking that, think something more original.

Then, one fateful day, I saw a preview for The Proposal which stars A) Ryan Reynolds and B) Sandra Bullock. Ryan Reynolds, to my knowledge at the time, did not do bad movies. After doing Van Wilder (excellent), he set a very high standard for his future features by co-starring in Blade III (actual title: Blade Trinity).

What a dreamboat, right?

Um... so, interesting sidenote- I once dated a girl I met at Best Buy (this is a story in itself... maybe a future blog post) and we went out and I said I really wanted to see Blade III- She then said "Oh my God me too!" She also had ambitions of being a detective (kindof hot!). Anyway, she moved away, but not before we had a date where we actually watched Blade III. It was awesome. We probably should have married each other.

Okay, back to the story at hand- I did not think Ryan Reynolds did bad movies. AND, I was also stupidly thinking that all romantic comedy-ish movies would be like "Forgetting Sarah Marshall." Well, I was wrong on both counts.

Here's the premise of the Proposal:
A dude (R.R) has a bitch of a boss (S.B.) who runs him into the ground UNTIL she runs into a problem- She, a high ranking corporate big shot at a publishing firm, is going to be DEPORTED from the USA to CANADA. She doesn't have time to appeal her case or whatever so in a quick thinking solution, she grabs R.R. and says "I can't be deported because we're getting married!"

Brilliant plot right?

Anyway, when they go to the immigration office to get her visa to stay, the dude who has to clear it is not buying their story. SO, in an effort to make the upcoming marriage look more legitimate, he takes her to his family's home in Alaska where eventually they fall for each other and then have to come clean to everyone about everything blah blah blahb lahbl;dh;aslkds;dklafj;lasd

Horrible. At one point at the end of the movie, she is flying away back to New York and he is standing on the tarmac in Alaska looking dejected- His entire family is around him and then they proceed to do a plot recap just in case viewers are too fucking idiotic to follow the movie:

I've tried to recreate it here but it's just too mindnumblinglybad to get verbatim...
The Dad: "Go get her son!"
the Mom: "Oh no she's in the air"
The Dad: "Why you look sad son"
RR: "Girl go bye bye"
Grandma: "Oh no! She's gone and now you're sad because you actually fell in love with your bitch boss!"

So, there's my experience with the Proposal. I willingly went, and I give it an enthusiastic F-. It was only salvaged by the fact that Laura accompanied me! Two thumbs up for you Laura!