What a pain in the ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111

I've been inactive for a while.

My computer decided to get infested with Spyware, Malware, Silverware, every type of "-ware" imaginable and the 40+ hours or so it took trying to get and getting my system back on track was so very very painful! I was incredibly close to saying "Fuck it all!" and heading to the Apple store down the road to get a new laptop. But, $2000.00 is a lot to drop so I decided to try and fix my computer... Here's what transpired... my general thoughts throughout this hellish joureney are in blue:

1) Sometime around Black Friday, I was trying to buy something on the Internet through Firefox but the website wouldn't load properly. So, I opened up Internet Explorer (a cardinal sin...). Next thing I know, I start getting a silly amount of pop-ups and Windows Security Updates telling me that my system is at risk, yada, yada, yada. Do I have some crazy virus?

2) The pop-ups begin to drive me mad as they make the internet a nightmare to use. It gets to the point where I'm looking at something in Firefox when all of a sudden some commercial starts playing over my speakers. Then, the pop-up window for the commercial finally shows up a minute later. Shit like this begins to happen once every few minutes. I definitely have a virus or some shit.

3) I start Googling the problems I'm experiencing, and holy shit, seems like half of America is having similar issues! Why? Because Windows is a shitty product with shitty security features and Internet Explorer is 10X as shitty as Windows. Anyway, the web research (being performed on my work laptop because my infected computer is driving me batshit bonkers) reveals that I have spyware out the wazu. I don't have time for this! I should just throw this goddamn worthless box out the fucking window.

4) I visit approximately 3,000 sites that all suggest different Spyware software and procedures to use that will allegedly solve my spyware infestation. I spend about $100 on various software meant to clean my system... I run all the new spyware-destroying, virus-scanning-and-eliminating software, and all indicators say that my system is clean... BUTTTTTTTTTT, I somehow am still getting pop-ups every few minutes, but they're just blank screens. At this point though, I'm willing to live with this just so I can have the Internet again...

5) AFTER FINALLY "FIXING" THE SPYWARE ISSUES, WINDOWS DECIDES TO AUTOMATICALLY INSTALL SOME NEW UPDATE THAT COMPLETLY CUTS OUT MY INTERNET CONNECTION. This is unbelievable. I should really just buy a Mac. I want to rip my eyes out. Microsoft can burn in hell.

6) After trying for about a week to get my Internet back, I come to the conclusion that nothing is going to work. Instead of buying a new computer, I decide to wipe Windows clean, reformat my hard drive, and reinstall Windows XP. Okay Steve- you can do this. Just think, you're saving $2000 that would otherwise be spent on a new computer.

7) I begin my Windows reinstallation journey one cold December night. Everything goes surprisingly smoothly and a few hours later, I reboot my computer and welcomed with a clean slate! BUT, then I realize that I have no: sound, correct video settings, internet, CD drive recognition, etc. I love this. I really do. This is so fun. I want to die.

8) To get my system back on track, I realize that I need all the drivers for my sound card, video card, internet adapter, cd drive, etc- But, because I have no internet, I have to constantly look up the drivers on my work laptop, and then shuttle them to my desktop via flash drive. It's a pain in the ass, and after installing new drivers, NOTHING WORKS! ...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

9) I identify the Internet issue. Turns out, Linksys cannot make a USB wireless internet adapter to save their fucking lives. I owned one already, but because I thought it was defective, I bought another for $50 only to realize that they're not defective, they just SUCK ASS. SO THEN, because the Linksys adapter refuses to cooperate, I have to order a new wireless internet card to actually install in the back of my computer. Another $30 and a nice 4 day wait for delivery. Awesome. This is a bottomless pit of money spending that is not solving anything.

10) The new wireless internet card comes, I install it, and (SHOCKER) it WORKS LIKE A CHARM! I HAVE INTERNET! The same day, I go on a downloading spree of new drivers, etc for my sound card, but still no luck. I do a couple hours of research and random downloading, and it turns out that all I needed were a few "plug-ins." I install the plug-ins, and VOILA! I HAVE SOUND TOO NOW! I work late into the evening downloading all my old programs: Winamp, iTunes, Opera, Flickr Uploader, Soulseek, etc. Finally finally finally, it looks like I'm back on track!

REALIZATIONS:
- I am a huge nerd. I depend on my computer way too much. I am obsessed with the Internet, and even more obsessed with my music collection.
- Microsoft and Windows SUCK. They are worthless. They can work flawlessly for a long period of time but IT IS A GIVEN THAT YOU WILL BE FUCKED BY THEM WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT!
- If Apple truly can stay resistant to spyware, malware, and viruses, it's definitely going to be my next computer.
- After spending about $200 to get through this little fiasco, maybe I should have just cut my losses and gone with a new computer anyhow! Oh well... In my mind, I'm still telling my self I saved $2000.00